Bloody Great Self-Esteem

Imagine yourself feeling lonely in a sea of people. People from all corners of the world walking beside you without noticing you're there. All of sudden, you realize that you have no mental energy or great physical to let the world see you. all because of the lacking of self-esteem you have in you. This is a very terrible condition to live in. It's a woebegone feeling. Exasperating, torturing, and killing you inside. Therefore, to be great, you should be bold to find what it takes to have high boosting of self-esteem.

The primer tonic that you must nurture in your soul is to be brave. Be brave to try something new in your lousy life. Do not let yourself be scared of people's sayings regarding your bravery. You are in charge of what you are doing so screw those people who judge you from far and shut their mouth when you come near to them.

The complement of being brave is to be confident. Be freaking confident in every single thing you do, every single fabric that you wear, every single route you are taking, and every single word that you choose to use when you are talking to people. Retain your confidence even when you are wrong. But be careful tho, you don't want to be accused of being egoistic.

Another spice in the recipe of self-esteem is to be friendly. Friendliness is very applicable to all ages. Greet every single person you meet on a particular day. Ask them how are they doing, what's going on with their life. Who knows your simple "Hi" can light up one's whole day. And who knows, you may find your soul mate while talking to the people around you. *wink*

It is a nature of human that we demand for a reward after achieving something good although we try to hide the dying fact. It is definitely okay. Go on. Reward yourself after you have done deeds to people. It does not matter even if it is a cone of ice cream, one piece of chocolate or just a simple smile. Rewarding yourself is good because it makes you wanna constantly doing deeds.

To have great self-esteem, you should be talking to a species of you. Not that I'm against the plant and animal whispers. But just to build the self-esteem, you HAVE to be interacting with one that can respond back to you. Talk to your family or friends about your experiences and problems. Tell them you heart content. Ask them for solutions and opinions. 

Every breathing soul in this world has their weakness and also, strength. To be a person with great self-esteem, you have to focus on your strength and self-potential. Show the world how strong you can be with your own strength. Unleash your inner power. They said inner power can bring you higher than you expected.

Making mistakes in life is totally normal because we are human. No perfection has ever exist in anyone's life diary before. Some even has face faux pas and great ordeal in their life because of their own mistakes.You must learn from your blunders and never be afraid to make one. Other than focusing on your forte, you also have to identify your weaknesses. Identifying your faults helps you improving your self-esteem because after knowing each and every one of your flaws, you will try hard to mend it in any possible kind of ways. You will soon learn the lurks and perks.

Communicating well with others is definitely one of the elements to have such empowering boost of self-esteem. Find ways to grab people's attention with the way you talk. Practice on how to use proper language in appropriate tones. Using the right tones is very essential as it defines your sense of relation with the person you are talking to. Tones used can also leads to misunderstood of another party. Choosing the perfect tones at the right time is definitely preferable.

High level of self-esteem will not exist without the efforts to love your own self. Loving yourself is the key to the door of loves from people around you. Staying positive about everything is another crucial recipe to nurturing good self-esteem. Posivism is important when you are facing hardships in life. Tranquility in solving problems will lead to wisdom in handling everything. 

In the final analysis, you must find wisdom words to motivate yourself. Search and put all the great quotes from various people in your phones, paste them on your wall, or place them in your wallets. This can contribute to helping you face life's challenges amazingly. Bear in mind you have no rights to let yourself relinquish.

In a nutshell, building and improving self-esteem is an easy thing to do if you know and state clearly what your goals are. Be open to all the positive thoughts, eradicate and let the negative thinking leaves you forever.You must be confident to stand on your own two feet because sometimes, the person you can't live without, can live without you. I promise you, when you've reached the aims of your life by the sparks of astounding self-esteem, nothing can stop you to go beyond everything. Good luck in finding betterment in you. May the odds be ever in your favor.

"Walk like you have three men walking behind you"

 

20 Months huh?

Assalamualaikum.

Wow. It's like a dejavu to be here again. The last time I wrote in here was 20 months ago. That is like the longest time I become a hiatus on this platform. Well, in 20 months, it's not the same anymore. But I have a few goals that are still in the right track. I'm sitting for the Education Certificate of Malaysia or widely known as Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia, SPM. 

I just finished my exam trial. It was a 3-week exam. It's actually very normal. I was kinda tired but alhamdulillah, everything went well. Now, waiting for the result to come out. Redha for everything, in shaa Allah. 

Soon, there will be the third semester break of the year for a week. And guess what am I going to do on that precious break?

Intensive class.

Four days of classes. One day, for 7 hours. Yeap. I don't want to complain cs it's my own choice. I have to improve my study. This exam is the biggest exam in every student of Malaysia.

This year is all about sacrifice. Yes, sacrifice.

Oh yeah!! There's another upcoming big event!

Graduation day!!!!!! In my school, it's the biggest event for all senior students. And to spice it up, the graduation day will be on my birthdayyyyyyyyyyy. Wohooooooo! I really really really hope it would be a great day for me and for everyone in my school. The big hall, class videos, robes, parents, dresses, suit and tie, baju kurung, certs!! I am definitely cant wait for it to happen. Yeah.

I hope that things will always be right for me. Although, so far this year, some things were not at their places. I just, I just have to be stronger. :)

Alright. Till then.

"Keep calm because it's senior year."

Busy Schedule

Assalamualaikum.

This week has taken me to a very high level of busy-ness.

Monday, I had latihan kawad kaki after school. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that, I, for the first time, made myself involve with kawad kaki thing. My whole life, I have never been into any kawad group. Even since I was in primary school. Quite a new thing for me.

Tuesday, hmmmm. It was devastated a lil bit. I had a debate competition. The debate was actually in BM. According to the schedule that we got a week before, we would be competing against a form 4 group, which is the same level as my group. However, on the day of the debate competition, our foe was a group of form 5 students. And added a lil of spice to that, one of the members was a state-level debate participant. Wow, that's just made my feet melted. And as already been guessed from the beginning, we lost.

Wednesday, the busiest day of the week I reckon! After school, I have account class. Then, I have to rush myself for the co-curricular activities in school. Okay, even it seems like it's not that busy, but please believe me, it was, really, really, really busy.

Thursday, account class started just after the school ended. After I've done with that, then I would siap-siap to wear my pj attire for the softball training in the afternoon. I LOVE SOFTBALL.

Friday, I have to go to the school library to get on my duty. Why? Because I can!! Cey. No lah, it's because I am one of the school librarians. Yes, it's true. I am. Then, after done with my duty in the library, latihan kawad kaki awaits for me downstairs.

So, that's pretty much of my routines during the weekdays. I shall say 2013 is making my life busier than ever that I wish I have 27 hours a day. I wish I have. I can't imagine what next year would be..... SPM YEAR!!!!

Oh btw, Farah Nadia said she's not going to move to Johor!!!!!! Yeay!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!

Goodbye now. *yawn*

P/s : I would like to spend this moment to say praise to Allah for the precious 11 days of school break starting tomorrow. Alhamdulillah.

"I love that point when you are so tired that everything is funny"

Leaving.

Assalamualaikum fellows.

A lot of things happened on this particular week I would say.

This week is the final week for some of my schoolmates as students of JESS. They will be moving to their new boarding schools around Peninsula Malaysia. Away to Seremban, Melaka, Kedah, Johor, Pahang and wherever they want to go.

Honestly,

I am feeling sad. I think the school will be not the same anymore without them. I mean, come on, it WILL be different somehow! Lost of words to describe my feelings right now.

And bad come to worse, yesterday, Farah Nadia, a very very very very very very good friend of mine suddenly say something that I totally totally totally wish it's not true.

She's moving back to Johor.

She's actually a pure Johorians. So, her family decided to go back there because of some good reasons. She's moving to a new school there. All-girls school.

I try to not think about it for a second but I just can't. I've been crying since yesterday. And of course, I have swollen eyes now. That I don't really care.

Yesterday was the best day so far in 2013 because my friends and I got to hang out together, laugh together, do stupid things together, insult each other lovingly, again after the whole class-separate thing. I was seriously seriously happy and jubilant and gay on yesterday's afternoon. But when it came to the evening, we received that horrible news, the rainbow has gone. Zits! Just like that.

I wish everything to just, stay.

"If bad things didn't happen, how would you be able to feel the good ones?"

My Spontaneous Speech

Assalamualaikum.

Yesterday, something really interesting happened to me at school.

This week, the form 4 students were having the orientation week. Which was technically for our preparation in choosing our interest field. In JESS, we were given choices to choose whether to be in the Pure Science stream or the Accounting Principles stream. Okay, not really actually. In JESS, all students are compulsory to take the Biology subject but we have to choose whether to take the Account class or not.

Frankly, I have thought about this since the December holidays. To take or not to take. Puzzled. Hmm, let the decision be a secret okay. :P

Yesterday was the last day of the orientation week. We were divided into big groups with all girls and boys separated. The teacher in-charged gave a random current topic to each group to be discussed. Then, we have to interpret the ideas into a simple mind-map. My group got the title "Masalah Merokok Dalam Kalangan Remaja Perempuan" (Smoking Problems Among Female Teenagers) which was kinda eyes-opener because it involved the girls who are the same-aged as us.

We started brain-storming everything and jot them down on the mahjong paper given with black and purple marker pens provided. After all the group works done, Puan Zanariah, our counselor  randomly picked any group to present their products. And she chose us.

We awkwardly made ourselves to the front of the assembly hall. We stood still in front of the whole batch of Form 4 students of 2013. At first, there's a little chaos to choose the presenter that would explain the whole thing. And guess who they chose? ME.

That was the moment that I realized that I have to give a SPONTANEOUS brief explanation about our topic, in front of EVERYONE.

I started with the greetings to all teachers and students. Then I stated our topic and the whole thing began. I explained each and every effects of smoking to the young ladies. I said things that I never planned to say but everyone seemed to understand very well. At a point, I was explaining about smoking would be such a humiliation to ourselves, family, society and the country when suddenly I accidentally stated that smoking is kinda okay with boys but not with girls. Then suddenly the audiences started making sound like "Uuuuu" and I was very surprised and told them that I retract my words and said it's actually not okay for boys to smoke too. I was kinda like desperately shouting and they started to laugh. Okay, that was pshhhh!

But, whatever. Everything went well that afternoon. And I was really, really hope that everyone understood everything. I finished my explanation and surprisingly, the whole audience gave us a thunderous amount of applause. Then, we all were allowed to go back home.

At home, my friends tweeted and texted me that my explanation at school was very good and powerful. Alhamdulillah. Actually, I wasn't expecting anyone to say those things to me. However, things have gone the way I wanted to. Alhamdulillah. It was indeed an interesting day.

"Get comfortable with being comfortable about your awesomeness"

 

2013

Assalamualaikum.

So today the new chapter began. The school session for the year 2013 begins. I woke up this morning to the urge to click the snooze button to my buzzing alarm clock but knowing that I have school today, I pressed "Dismiss"

Well, the day started off with all students gathered up at the assembly hall. We sang the national anthem, state anthem and lastly, the school song. All the teachers and principal wished us welcome back to school and good luck for this year.

I was put in the class 4 Inisiatif this year. Well, the students in every class were jumbled which means we are not being streamed by our past achievements. So, no first class and no last class. We are all just the same. In my class today, I looked at all of my brand new classmates and realized I do not know at least half of their names tho we are in the same school for 3 years already. But never mind, I'll get to know them soon.

The class teacher is a very sweet lady named Puan Suriyati Ahmad. Frankly speaking, I just know this teacher's name today. So I am pretty much know nothing about her. She's my Malay Language teacher, by the way. Interestingly, she picked me to hold the position of the assistant of class' monitor. Temporarily. By the time, we found the right person for the position, I might not be that assistant anymore. Who knows.

Honestly, I am excited 2013, because I am now a Form 4 student, therefore, I will start to learn the what people say as 'though' subjects which are Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Add Math. Well, I'm trying to put myself in a positive state. I will go through all the subjects calmly and try to be as smart as I can to master all of the subjects. In shaa Allah.

"Another 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 3,153,600 seconds of new memories"

Last Trip

Assalamualaikum.

Yesterday my lovely lovely sister and her husband brought me to Genting Highlands. It was some kind of last trip before the new semester of  school starts. I was really excited because it's been a long time since I last came to this cool place.

We got off from the house at 10.40 am and soon arrived at Genting Skywal at 11.52 am. We decided to take the cable car for fun. However, it turned out that the queue was really really really, long. We spent about an hour just for queuing for it. I think it's a mistake that we went to Genting on weekend.

We bought the tickets for the outdoor and indoor theme parks. As soon as we entered the outdoor park, I rushed myself to one of the cool games there called Space Shot. 

I actually been longing to get onto this ride because the last time I was here, I wasn't allowed to ride it because I didn't reach the minimum height. Ohh sorry for being short I was just a little kid wanna ride this uh! But it's okay, now I've ride this and it's a real heart-throbbing experience!! It started as normal as it could like we have to sit normally on the seats and buckled everything up for safety. Then, the thing went slowly up till it reached the maximum height which was I guess about 185 feet. Almost like 18-storey building!! At the highest peak, we could see almost everything from the theme park to the back of the hills. It' very incredible!! The thing stopped for about a few seconds and suddenly without any warning, it went down so fast that our freaking butts were jumped up and kinda flying and it's not normal and I was so freaking scared and it went up and down, up and down for several times. I closed my eyes so tightly during all these ups and downs. I wasn't even scream or anything. Just sat there quietly and hoping it would stop as soon as possible. And it did stop, thank God!

Next ride was  a very awesome roller coaster called Corkscrew.

Oh my God, this ride was so awesome that I didn't stop screaming from the start until the end.  It went off so perfectly like it went up slowly and steadily to the peak, then suddenly went down and I was like "Oh my God, this is not funny this is not funny!!" so many times. Usually, a roller coaster just has one turning point where the passengers will turn upside down once. But on this Corkscrew ride, there's two turning points!! Which I wasn't aware of before I got onto it. It's just ridiculously fun!

Soon, we went to the indoor theme park. We rode a few cute harmless rides like the slow reindeer thing. Hahaha that was good actually after the long fast rides. And we filled up our tummies with Burger King and wandered around for about an hour then we went back to the cable car station. It's such a relief to see there were only two lines of people queuing for it. Honestly, the cable car ride at night was a lil bit scarier than during the daylight. Plus, with the dense fog outside, we couldn't see anything, what's there in front and at the back of us, we couldn't see a thing! Just blur.

As soon as the car engine started, I slept along the way until we reached home. It was a tired but a super  wonderful day!

"When you stop doing things for fun, you might as well be dead. "

Dear Saba

Dear Sabarina  binti  Azzizi,

        Assalamualaikum. Saba, I've been reading the entries in your blog recently. I knew you wrote about me and some of our friends too. I know you were hurt. I know. I'm sorry that our friendship became like this. I don't know what's the main reason anyway. I don't know how this happened. Frankly speaking, I seriously missing our old moments. From 2009. Yes, 2009. It's okay that you're mad of me, of us. I know you feel humiliated and betrayed. To be honest, NIR and I actually do talk about you sometimes. We're missing you! We're missing our friendship like in 2010. We were so bound together. I don't know what happened in 2011. I was separated from all of you. That year, I feel betrayed. Yes, betrayed. By my own, best friends. I don't know if that's the reason we are all separated in our own ways now. I am not sure. I want you to know that I never want this to be happened. But it did. And I'm sorry. I really am SORRY. We planned to stay together forever, but we didn't. We plan, but Allah decides. It's okay, we're still friends, right? Until then.

I love you, Saba.

PMR Results

Assalamualaikum.

Hello.

On December 19 2012, which make that a few days ago, the PMR results came out. I can never tell you how nervous I was the day before I got the results. I couldnt stop thinking, worrying, scared, frightening about the day. I thought about a lot of things. "What if I don't get the straight A's?" "My parents would be very devastated" "Teachers would be so surprised, and worse, disappointed of me" "People around me will be talking behind my back like OH MY GOD, Farah didn't get straight A's for her PMR?! OH MY GOD!! What a shame she's brought to her family!" 

All the thoughts kept on running jumping squirreling in my mind like a big tornado! And at the moment, I realized I COULDN'T CALM MYSELF. AT ALL.

Another story is about my friend. You know, we have our own Whatsapp Group since August. And there are 5 people in the group. A week before the PMR results were announced, one of my friend left the group without telling us why. She just left. Without any response to all of our questions. She just disappeared. Just like that. At first, I was kind of annoyed by her antics of ignoring us and not replying any of our messages. At one point, I had enough!!! I stopped talking to her. I thought if she wanna talk, she'll talk. A few torturing days later, she came back. We were thrilled, to be honest! She explained to us why did she leave. She was having some kind of panic attack about the results. She scared that she might be the only one who would not get the straight A's. We were really mad at first, because we thought that she's not the only one having the panic attack, we were too! But we didn't leave!!! However, we let the thing slide away and never mention about it anymore.

So, the day had come! The results day!! The results came out at 10.30 in the morning. That morning, I tried so hard to calm myself. It was not really working. I recited a lot of prayers because I was soo soo sooo scared. I could really feel the blood in my body became hot and almost exploded. My mum accompanied me to school. As soon as I arrived at school, I went to my class's table and saw my beautiful class teacher, Puan Nur Aziah. She's holding the result slips. GASP! Tears running!! Nose getting wet!! Hands getting cold!! Okay calm down calm down! Suddenly, my teacher said,

 "Farah, congratulations, straight A's for you!"

I couldn't help it! I couldn't help it! I burst into some kind of baby cry and saw my friends Ilham, Marsya and Fara. I saw my mum crying tooo. I saw her tears running down her cheeks. It's so beautiful. I shook my teacher's hands and thanked her. A LOT. Then I give my mum the tightest hug that I could give to her. 

Alhamdulillah! I was soo soo soo glad that my friends and I got straight A's for our PMR exam! All of my classmates got straight A's except for one student. He got 7A's 1B. It's okay, we've tried our best. Alhamdulilah. 

On the way back home, I thought about all the efforts my friends and I gave for the exam. All the tuition classes, quiz in Whatsapp, extra study group after school, all of them! And now they are all paid off! Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah. Thank you ma abah. Thank you teachers. Thank you friends. Thank you everyone. 

"Never dream about success, work for it."

Give It All

*alertalert* *everyunitalert*

PENILAIAN MENENGAH RENDAH IS IN LESS THAN 21 DAYS!!

"There is no elevator to success. You must take the stairs"